Why textured hair?

We have to agree on one point before we dive into this blogpost

All hair types are beautiful right?


So if it is the case, then why do many people especially with textured hair have no clue how to care for their hair?

Why do many with textured hair constantly want to make their hair look everything else but not their hair natural state? Straighten it, put on a wig ( I mean CONSTANTLY), perm it ( usually the reason is: because it is easier to manage and nothing to do with I don’t like my natural hair, OKAYYY!)


This topic is one that I usually shy away from and I am not doing this anymore. There is a fine line between controversial and anodyne subjects

And the reason why I choose to speak about it now is that it is affecting me or so it has and potentially my kids and I’ve noticed,  some friends and family members too!


It is okay to style your hair the way you wish, In fact I loooove changing hairstyles, looking like Beyonce today , Whitney Houston tomorrow and Ariana Grande the next week... but where do you also look like yourself without thinking there is something wrong about it, that’s where the problem arises.


I have had many compliments on how I look like a princess or more beautiful with my hair straightened or away from my face, although I love these compliments, I get angry at times, I wish I can look awesome with my natural hair the most, because it is easier for me, it is effortless, I just AM, my hair is just IT, and I want to look the most beautiful with it without questioning it, to me as well as to others.


Others influence our decisions a lot, especially with this social media era in which we are all happily/unhappily/willingly or unwillingly swimming in.


I want to wear my hair away when I want to take a professional photo, or because it is my birthday and I want it nicely silky pressed and loooong, and mind you nobody asked, or proposed it. It is just what it is, deep down somewhere this is what is the most beautiful and appealing to me, to society.


Now if all these were harmless, and or effortless without having to potentially damage my hair for a hairstyle, or I am to wear those hairstyles without feeling any other external pressures, I think there should not even be a debate here, but unfortunately it isn't for textured hair! 


What is wrong with accepting that your hair is different from mine and so the way you care for it is totally different too, what is wrong with “this products is the best for your natural hair and not for mine”, what is wrong with “these hair accessories are adequate for your hair type but not for mine”?


There shouldn't be anything wrong with this, we should all accept that SOMETIMES what works for you doesn’t work for me or what work for me doesn't work for you and that is OKAY!


We should be able to acknowledge the fact that straightening your hair often is not the best choice for textured hair and it is okay to take the risk, have some fun but it is not acceptable to avoid dealing with YOURSELF! What you are, what you came with, the gift you have been given on this earth and for this time you are spending here, FOR NOW! 


I strongly believe that it is important to know first and deal with it after. I have nothing with those who prefer to perm their hair, and actually manage to keep it healthy and looking beautiful or those who manage to straighten it with very minimal damage! It is already a sign of knowing first and dealing with it after. But for those who simply push their textured hair away and want to move without  dealing with it JUST BECAUSE...I think it is wrong!


Now I will stop pointing finger, yes I was, my point here is that I know many people who do these things but not on purpose, they just don't know how to care for their textured hair!


They are lost in it, they don't have time for all the “struggles” they hear everyone talk about, they just want to live their happy stress free life!


Have you wondered why some children will happily eat vegetables and others won't? It is a question of habit, the same way you would love a dish from your country and dislike one from some other countries and even find it "weird". You are not used to it, you never grow up eating it, of course you don't like it!


Same with hair care and textured hair, how many of us have been taught how to care for it? How many know exactly what is good and bad for their hair? how many have been told that despite this coarse texture and unruly behaviour our hair is the weakest of all hair types?


How many of us with textured hair ever jump in the shower wash and condition our hair dry it and think they look splendid after and hop to their duties, maybe a little serum before heading out? No? Oh well cause your hair is different, duuuh!


So why not learn how yours works too? So you can have the best experience with what you have?


Our Hair is linked to our self esteem and value in society, even Michelle Obama does not wear her afro hair! I’m just saying, or maybe she doesn't have afro hair?


It is like makeup, I have some people commenting at times “I love it when you have less/ heavy makeup on”.. what do you mean?

Or imagine someone telling you, you look way better WITH makeup, haaa! Do you know what that person just did?


I want to be able to wear makeup the way I love it without having to be insecure about it or my own face! If I'm doing it wrong teach me but don't tell me what I should look like!

 

That is what it is about, and again all hair types are BEAUTIFUL, I just dream of a world where my mixed baby girl will keep asking me to have Moana hairstyle and she knows exactly that she is beautiful this way too and I as a mum I know that this Moana hairstyle is always accessible for her with minimal effort ( I mean I don't have to change her hair texture for it) 

And I wish the same for every other women and girls with textured hair! 

It is my wish for everyone to feel confident and beautiful effortlessly and without having to change who they are but instead embrace their uniqueness and make it a powerful tool.


We are here to help, so don't hesitate if you have any questions

Until next time, 

With all my love,


Mayite





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